A Journey of Faith

So. Once again I went on a month long hiatus from my blog. I haven’t been writing a lot lately. Well.. that’s a lie – I’ve been doing a lot of personal journaling, but that’s not the kinda stuff y’all want to or need to see. 

I haven’t been writing creatively. Maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to regulate my sleep schedule and decrease my depressive/anxious states and live a stable life. Because we all know creatively doesn’t thrive in stability… am i right?? I think I’m joking, I don’t really know, but either way, I digress.

But anyway I did write a letter to my beautiful cousin on the day of her Confirmation into the Catholic church (the same day I ruined the innocence of America’s youth and paid for her to get her first tattoo). And the letter included some things I’d like to share, here, with you guys. So here’s a little excerpt:

Make prayer a first response, not a last resort. Seriously. It is quite often that I could go a whole day without praying. But there has never been a day when I didn’t worry, and stress, and doubt. When all I really need, is a quick prayer. God tells us to leave all of our anxieties at his feet. God can heal your uneasiness. Can’t think of a prayer? It doesn’t matter. You would not believe how much power there is in just saying Jesus’ name. I’ve realized the importance of turning to prayer, first, before I’ve worn out other options and am left feeling emptier than before. The quicker you make prayer your first habit, the better.

Going off of that, Arm yourself with God’s word. It is amazing that we have straight access to God and his Words at any time we want and need. God chose this life especially for you, and He’s given you everything you need to fulfill your purpose. Having His Word at your immediate side, is not only useful every day, but also a great honor to Him. Continue to honor Him. Learn a new verse once a week. Read a new chapter every night. Commit to one book. Have it ready at your side when your fears creep up.

Next. And this one is really important. Read this paragraph a few times if you need to. I cannot stress enough how important this is to learn and execute in life.

It is okay to have doubts. It is so okay. It’s normal. I would even call it faithful. Often times, the church, other Christians, media, they can all make you feel like even an ounce of doubt makes you a bad Christian. But, boy are they wrong. Faith is commonly used to say “complete trust”, but God says many times – all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed. That’s it. Doubt. Go ahead and doubt. Yell and cry and scream to the heavens. Ask God why he isn’t listening to your worries. Ask Him why He isn’t answering your prayers the way you want. Doubt. Do all of this. But don’t stop praying.

The devil is a real thing. And he really is the enemy. When you read the Bible, and say your prayers – that is nails on a chalkboard to him. Seeing you choose God even when you are doubting, hurts the enemy. Hearing you pray and pray, time after time, when you feel you aren’t being listened too, makes the enemy weep on his knees. Remember that God’s love for you is based on the fact that He sent his only son to die on the cross for you. And only you. His love is not based on what you perceive God to be doing in your life right at this moment.

It’s not doubting that is bad – it’s giving up on God. You are allowed to doubt. You are allowed to be scared and you are allowed to be upset. God gave us emotions to feel them. So by all means – do just that. Feel. And even when it’s hard, even when you feel like God has forgotten you, pray. Be honest with yourself, be honest with God. He loves you. He will give you the strength to get through.

Look for God. So many people around you love you and want what’s best for you. Unfortunately, God is the only one who truly knows where you are headed. So when you feel lost, He is the best person to go to. It is difficult – It is difficult to not have a voice agreeing with you and feeling empathic. He won’t always answer prayers in the way you think, and you’re sometimes going to think you can’t hear Him at all. But keep your eyes and your ears open. Tell Him you are ready to listen. Look for God in everything. And if you can’t find him, let Him shine through you. I often think that God talks to me through the birds. Find where you hear God, and go there often.

Ask for help. You are surrounded with people who love you. And luckily, you are surrounded with people who have instilled a good faith in you. Take advantage of that, some people don’t have that. We want you to succeed. We want you to be faithful. We want you to feel loved, cared for, and invited. If you are feeling stuck in your faith, ask for help. Someone will know how to help. And if we don’t, you can bet anything in the world we’ll pray for you.

And last but not least – Always be changing. Don’t ever become complacent with where you are at. We are called to a lifetime of sanctification. Love yourself while continuing to grow, in life and in faith. Your relationship with God is the most important one in your life, and it can always be improved. Some days will be easy and some days will be hard – but God is greater than all of these times. Learn new prayers. Pray for people you don’t know. Serve others. Smile at someone who needs it. Be passionate. Love. With your whole heart. Love with your whole mind. Love with your whole soul. The greatest thing God has given us is the ability to love. It might hurt sometimes – but you can’t go wrong with a little love. And you definitely can’t go wrong with a lot of it.

Share with someone who needs a little extra love, a little extra light, a little support in their faithful journey 🙂

Dream on,

Beth Ann

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